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Directed By:
J.R. Bookwalter
Starring:
James Black
Not Rated
Genre: Sci-Fi
Format Used: Netflix DVD
Contains: Graphic Language, Graphic Violence, Bad Acting, Stock Footage
THE PLOT:
When a group of alien tourist take a trip to Earth to eat American fast food, they get sidetracked by sabotage. Their ship
crash lands on a prehistoric planet filled with man eating dinosaurs and they must adapt to stay alive.
ZEDD'S OPINION:
First of all, huh? Aliens have nothing better to do then travel billions of trillions of light years just to eat at MacDonalds?
That's got to be the stupidest reason ever when aliens wanted to visit Earth and going from planet to planet to eat native
food? Hello, just because the natives can eat something don't mean anyone else in the universe can. What's good to us may
be poisonous to an alien body. That's first, second, let's talk about the Stockfootage from PLANET of the dinosaurs. Which
had it faults but it was bloody Oscar material compared to this dung help, I mean this movie was filmed in a forest and the
stock footage was in a desert! Plus, the big twist, which also isn't original is that they were on Earth all along that some
alien madman wiped us all out and recreated dinosaurs. That was stupid, the movie was stupid and what is wrong with these
people that don't even try. Insead of canceling all Earthquake insurance, what insurance companies should cancel is Bad Movie
insurance. These people take out a policy that protects their investment in case it doesn't make any money. Then don't even
try to make a good movie just to collect, that's insurance fraud if you ask me, THE NOOSE!
VOLTRON'S OPINION:
I couldn't agree more, this is the kind of movie that makes the pain of getting your teeth drilled seem like pleasure compared
to movies like this. Something Roger Ebert once said is absolutely true, a good movie is always too short and a bad movie
is always way to long. At a mere 65 minutes, this movie feels like more like eighty hours. It's on DVD in a series of crappers
called the MOVIE POLICE, how I wish they were real and put these scumbag behind bars along with NICK ZEDD and DON DOLHER!
THE NOOSE!
ON THE POSTIVE SIDE (+ HITS):
+ THE ENDING CREDITS (God I was so happy to see the credits.)
ON THE NEGATIVE SIDE(- MISSES):
- THE PREMISE (That has got to be the dumbest premise ever for aliens to visit Earth.)
- STOCK FOOTAGE (Stock footage from the much better PLANET OF THE DINOSAURS.)
- ACTING (Except for one member of the cast, the rest was pre-preschool drama club.)
- MIXING (They could have at least filmed in a desert to blend with the stockfootage.)
THE "TWIST" ENDING (Please, that was stolen from another movie which I will not say.)
- HUMAN EXSTINCTION (One mere alien couldn't wipe us out so easily.)
AND FINALLY...
- NOT FOR ANYONE (If you enjoy suffering through bad movies, then you are a masicist and needs to need help.)
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