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Directed By:
J. Christian Ingvordsen
Starring:
Billy Drago
Rated R
Genre: Slasher Horror
Format Used: Blockbuster DVD
Contains: Graphic Language, Graphic Violence, Nudity, Graphic Sexual Content and bad ending
THE PLOT:
Twenty years ago a downed pilot finds a strange monkey relic sitting on a human skull (Which would be my first clue to leave
it alone. But I'm not a moron.) After putting it on, the strange relic possess him to go on a killing spree at the air force
base. Regain control of his mind (somehow) he hides the relic before being arrested. Twenty years later, the base is about
to become a aerial museum.
A group of college students are in charge of fixing the place up for the big opening. But once again the evil relic has
been discovered in the hiding place and someone dressed in fighter pilot uniform is out to kill the others. Who is this person
and what is the secret of the relic and who gives a rat's ass.
ZEDD'S OPINION:
Let's see what we have to work with, a blood relic just sitting in the middle of an open field resting on a skull with no
other relics or warnings not to touch it. Where anyone can find it, that makes perfect sense (NOT!) Second, what is the back
story of the relic, how old is it, how did a demonic force get into it? These are kind of important subtext questions so the
movie will make sense. Since they don't have it, it doesn't. Lastly, the big twist of who the killer is also makes perfect
sense (NOT!). In one seen, the killer grabs one of the girls, pulls her into the room and while holding the door shut ties
her up, takes her across the room and places a noose around her neck that's connect via a pulley to the door that when they
force the door open it hangs her, then leaves via an unknown door, changes her clothes and returns to help open the door and
kill the girl in about ten seconds. That doesn't make any sense. Plus, the pilot that found the relic, he hasn't changed in
twenty years. So, what the hell was Billy Drago thinking when he agreed to this disaster of a flick? What's more shocking
is this crapper didn't go right to video. THE NOOSE!
VOLTRON'S OPINION:
All valid points on why BLOOD RELIC should be buried and never unearthed as long as time exists. But Zedd forgot one important
element on why this is thing should be burned along with the director and writer. The bad ending, the logic must be, we must
have a bad ending or we can't have a sequel. That is so must bull flop it's not even funny. That's lazy writing, which this
crapper has in spades. Bad writing, bad story, bad dialog. I got to admit, I think the setting of a air and space museum
is unique. But other then that, it's a real loser that should be forgotten. THE NOOSE!
ON THE POSTIVE SIDE (+ HITS):
+ UNIQUE SETTING (An air and space museum for a slasher flick is unique.)
+ BILLY DRAGO (Billy is good in everything he's in, but he doesn't have much of a part in this and I wish he would choose
his parts better. Stay away from the crap.)
ON THE NEGATIVE SIDE(- MISSES):
- SENSE (The movie doesn't make any sense.)
- RELIC (Thrown together, it doesn't look like a bloody monkey.)
- RELIC LOCATION (A big empty field without warnings or traps, where any moron can pick it up. That makes sense.)
- KILLER IDENTITY (Considering one seen, the identity of the killer makes no sense.)
- BACK STORY (What is the history of the relic, other then an unknown evil causes the holder to be evil.)
- HOW (They never explained since Billy's character had the relic how the killer got it.)
- ENDING (Everybody dies and the relic goes back to the hiding spot for yet another painful movie that we pray never comes
to pass.)
AND FINALLY...
- NOT FOR ANYONE (Anyone with half a brain will think what I think that this is one stupid movie.)
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